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TODAY'S SCRIPTURE
“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.
*Revelaton 3.20 (NLT)
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If we speak of God-as-Love - and we do correctly - we need to ask what such Love means. Love as a nice idea will not help us much. We will fit the idea to fit us, not us fit into the Reality.
Likewise, we need to go beyond speaking of such Love as how God loves us. We are to grow, even if in tiny steps, to expressing such Love. And we cannot do this without some hurt - sometimes much hurt - in our own attempts at being loving persons.
See Christ appealing in Revelation 3.20: "Look!" This is a way of saying, "Hey! I'm here. I've got something important to tell you."
So, God-as-Love is seeking our attention. Such Love is not a nice religious idea we accept or not. Nor is such Love a deep metaphysical idea, difficult to grasp. Whether we accept Love or not, does not change Love; whether we grasp the simplicity and beauty of such Love or not, Love remains the same.
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I recall a time during a marital separation, when I went to a priest to seek spiritual guidance. He said, "Brian, you know in our church, marriage is till death do you part." He advised me to keep loving my spouse, even if we never got back together, and accept any suffering resultant as my part in the sufferings of Christ. He was not taking my side, and never did. He was only telling me my responsibility toward my wife, whom I had taken holy vows with and before God. He told me God does not call us to be happy, but to be faithful.
I was familiar with the Christian pratice of allowing ourselves to identify our sufferings with His sufferings, and I was aware faithfulness was, indeed, the call for a true Christian - not happiness. I knew, then, faithfulness toward my wife was a priority over my feelings in the separation and potential failure to reunite. I had never been called upon to practice this in such a personal, painful experience. Yet, I sensed the Holy Spirit so strongly through the words of the priest, I was sure the Divine was speaking through him.
What he was saying was not about my protecting myself, trying to get my wife back, winnng a contest of who's wrong-who's right. Such advice was not about retaliation, defending myself, sulking, cutting off the other person, trying to straighten her out, blaming myself, ... Basically, he was saying, as a Christian: "You, even in this, are to act like a Christian man and husband, regardless ...."
See, he was pointing me beyond any personal understanding of love, or a love defined only within marriage. He was pointing me to Love-in-Christ, and in Revelation 3:20.
Well, I followed his advice. What ensued was what I could call the greatest miracle of my life. I, through letting go fully of every self-agenda, even my efforts to save the marriage, entered a continual state of Divine Love no longer defined as marital, mine, ours, ... There was a full, free, joyful commitment to my wife, our marriage, and myself within both, without any need to do anything but be true to my wife and our covenant.
Several months later I shared this experience with a friend. I gropped mentally for a way to describe it. The best I could come up with is, "It was Heaven." Indeed, of all my spiritual experiences, this felt the closest to the fullness of Heaven.
Did such Love save the marriage? Did such Love prevail? See, again, we try to pull Love into objectives that can be defined in the success-failure mindset, and as though we believe Divine Love can do what we want It to. This can be a real trick to get easily caught in, if we are not careful - it goes something like this: "If I only Love, truly Love, I can change the person." No. And your efforts to use Love to change the other may be an evidence you are not in Divine Love.
Yet, Revelation 3.20, and the Gospel, shows us a Love that so respects freedom that It will not "prevail" upon anyone. This Love will not open the door, but It will knock on the door.
In my case, the estragement was not healed. But, someone was healed. The Love that held me true in my heart to my wife - that Love worked a healing in me. No, Love may not conquer all things, not in this life, but True Love can, in its subtle or fierce way, conquer you and me.
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Divine Love does not stand aloof playing a game of "hide-an-seek" or "I won't contact you unless you first contact me" - Christ knocks. Such Love gets involved, and personally offers Itself. Such Love ignored, says, "I'm here, while you ignore me, refuse to speak with me, even refuse to acknowledge I'm alive and deserving of your acknowledgement."
Jesus was risking rejection by knocking on the door - Or is it that such Love knows no risk?. Jesus could have been thinking, if thinking like us, "What if he does not want me? What if I get no response?" Yet, he kept knocking, offering to share around the table - a symbol of intimacy, friendliness, communion.
This passage shows us the Heart of God. Notice the verse shift toward the plural "we." Jesus certainly does not need you or me - anyone - to be whole. Because he is so whole, he seeks to share wholeness with us. He knocks. Why? That "we will share ... together ... as friends."
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Have you ever been like Christ, like the Love described above? No, certainly you are not Christ. But have you ever, as a son or daughter, a parent, friend, spouse, ... knocked at the door of someone you love, hoping you would be let in? Then, do you know what it is like for that door not to open? For your very presence to go ignored, shunned - maybe even slandered?
I had a church attender who got feelings hurt. I did what I could to connect, to find out what went wrong, and offer support. I left several messages via email and phone. I could get no response: everything ignored. Door closed. What did I do? What do you do? Respect the person enough to let go and move on. - And that leaves the question: "When, in Love, do you respect a closed door is a final closed door, and you must respectfully walk away?"
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Jesus stands at the door, and he promises fellowship. At times this scene in Revelation is depicted as a door without a knob on the outside. Good image - for all true Sharing relies on the response of the other appealed to. Christ could not and would not open the door, yet, he promised his time and himself if it was openned from the inside.
Possibly, unrequited love is one of the most painful experiences many persons go through - and such is very common in our culture. Yet, such an experience can inspire to draw closer to Divine Love, and become more like such Love.
Jesus is always accessible, always available. Likewise, if you cannot share with someone as you wanted, do not curl up on yourself as though you failed or you did not have enough Love for him or her, or them. If you keep giving Love, you will find an inexhaustible Source ever-returning to bless you and increase Love you can share.
If you are in a situation of "knocking" or needing to, to offer yourself, your presence, and Love to a person or group, okay. Yet, discern when to leave the door. Discern when Love leads you on.
Likewise, in following the example of Christ, keep in fellowship with him. You will not emulate Christ unless you fellowship with Christ. To do this, you must keep in mind that many persons offering you their advice may not be prioritizing your doing what Christ would do. I was blessed to have a priest friend who told me, above all the other voices, "Brian, in this, be like Christ." He wanted me above all to do the Christlike, honorable thing, not the safe or easy thing. He did not allow me to use practical-oriented excuses to betray either my wife or our covenant.
What happens when Love seems not enough? With some persons and whole groups Love is not enough - or, rather, such cannot tolerate the Love. If some persons let Christ in, they will kick him out. Just because Jesus would get invited in and start sharing a meal, does not mean the person inside would tolerate the Love he would give.
So, what, then? Well, in all things we are to be like Christ. No, that is not easy. If it were easy, it would not be being like Christ. Rather than giving any words on reconciliation or forgiveness or not repaying harm for harm ..., I leave you with a picture of the Heart of Christ pushed from holding the people he loved so dearly. For in his Love being ignored, even he the Lover killed, His Heart is our example and Light:
34 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers! How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let me. 35 And now, look, your house is abandoned. And you will never see me again until you say, ‘Blessings on the one who comes in the name of the Lord!’”
*Luke 13.34-35 (NLT)
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*This writing ministry is the offering of Rev. Dr. Brian K. Wilcox, of SW Florida, a Pastor in the United Methodist Church, and Senior Chaplain for the Charlotte County Jail. To contact Brian, write to barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
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